Happy Birthday Cupcake

So maybe I have this friend, we'll call her Celina, and maybe she has been pestering me for what seems like my entire life to become a "blogger". One day several months ago she created this blog for me and while I have been trying for no apparent reason to avoid becoming a "blogger" today is the day that I stop avoiding it. I have been ignoring the not so subtle jabs at my lack of a blog and the little comments about how out of touch I am with the modern world, but today Celina is your birthday (okay technically yesterday but close enough) so here is your birthday gift. My very first post is dedicated to Celina for three reasons.

1) You created this blog for me.

2) This blog is named after you.

3) It is your birthday and this is what you asked for.

Random Crap #1

So I have a new love for craigslist.org. Not a day goes by that I don't find something absolutely random and amazing on there. The other day while perusing through the wanted ads I was becoming extremely bored of all the "fill dirt wanted" and "free maternity clothes needed" when, all of the sudden I saw a listing entitled "Wanted: New Best Friend". I opened it immediately and instantly wanted to become this young mans best friend. Later that evening I was sharing the post with my younger brother and his friends only to discover that the boy who posted the listing was one of their friends. Since then I have tried to look it up again but it had been erased. Apparently he wasn't to thrilled with his inability to hide his identity in his post. Then, on Friday while making my usual craigslist rounds I found this "WANTED: NEW BEST FRIEND (AGAIN!)" I immediately opened it and with great happiness found this...

"Due to a somewhat embarrassing realization regarding the utter lack of anonymity here, I recently removed a posting titled "Wanted: New Best Friend." However, a particularly frustrating day and subsequent sleepless night has caused me to reinstate my application with some additional qualifications for your consideration: I am a nineteen-year-old male whose best friend recently moved to Salt Lake City to live with his new best friend. Unfortunately, and despite my best efforts, I was unable to compete with a slightly more qualified friend, and I now find myself once again on the best friend market. I have many of the qualifications one looks for in a best friend. I am extremely loyal, for example; I will make your golden retriever seem like a rabid badger by comparison. I will continue to fulfill all my duties as a best friend, even when you tire of me or decide that beating each and every new video game you buy is more important than spending time with me (to this my previous client can attest). I can be very useful to have around at times. I am nearly 6'2", which means I am fully capable of reaching objects kept very high off the ground, such as on a tall shelf. Also, thanks to genetics and a five-years-and-counting bout with acne, my looks are below average. This is the perfect category for a best friend, of course: not attractive or hideous enough to be a distraction when seen with you, but just unattractive enough to make you look good by comparison. Trust me when I say that my unimpressive appearance will come in handy when you find yourself searching for potential sexual partners, as will my awkward demeanor and crippling fear of rejection. If asked about my greatest flaw as a best friend, I would have to admit that I am a bit overly nostalgic. When, as best friends do, you find yourself too busy or annoyed to put up with me anymore, I will more than likely spend hours moping around my house playing along to the bass parts of every song on my Joy Division box set until you call me back. However, no matter how many times you "forget" to call me, I will keep a professional composure and not confront you about it, because that's the sort of (potential) best friend that I am. Are you sick of your best friend stealing your spotlight? Well, thanks to an impressive history of being avoided and ignored, I've developed severe social and emotional issues that you can GUARANTEE will prevent me from ever being the life of the party! Want someone to feed your musical ego? Feel free to make fun of that brief Avril Lavigne phase I went through several years ago. Meanwhile, I'll keep it to myself that, despite an outwardly indie-litist attitude, you know relatively little about music and only buy shit-loads of expensive equipment to compensate for the fact that you never took the time to learn how to play an instrument. In return for my services as a best friend, I ask for no pay or special favors beyond an occasional request for my company or, at the very least, a polite tolerance of my presence. However, if you eventually find a best friend who better suits your particular needs and you move to a different city to room with him, please remember to tell me "Good-bye." P.S. I'm also trying to get rid of two large male rats (free to good home). Cage is not included."

While it is slightly different than the original post and may be the longest post ever, I admire this young man for going after what he wants. Good for you! I hope you find an amazing new best friend. If anyone would like to be this young mans new best friend then email him at sale-1004119926@craigslist.org I am sure that he would love to hear from you.

So Celina, there you have it. My first blog post. I hope that it fulfilled all of your hopes and dreams. Oh and maybe I am blogging and my computer still isn't working so all of your chats with my computer FAILED!

Random Gal