Celina... you should take advantage of this!

As you may know by now I love to search the Internet for the most random and ridiculous things I can possibly find. I don't know how or why I do this, sometimes things just appear before me. While sitting here in the DSC computer lab after bombing my history test, I googled "midgets" which I often do when I am having a bad day. (They make me feel better, don't judge). I found what I am convinced is the most amazing thing anyone has ever though of...

Random Crap #5

"A GYM in London has replaced its dumbbells with human weights - including dwarfs who shout encouragement to motivate exercise."

Don't let this freak you out too badly. Think of all of the positive aspects of this idea. The gym claims that by using real people instead of weights, people can better visualize the weight they are lifting and that motivates them to do better. They also say that the midgets (or little people if you want to be politically correct) yell at you when you start to slack. I can think of one friend in particular who wouldn't appreciate being screamed at by a little person but may love the motivation. I was discussing this whole thing with a friend of mine and he said that it wouldn't motivate him at all, it would just make him angry. He said that he would "look at that midget and scream "I COULD THROW YOU ACROSS THIS ROOM SO SHUT YOUR FACE" and then he would do it. I would hope for the little people sake that the gym has some sort of protection against that. For anyone who would like to explore this topic further visit http://www.news.com.au/dailytelegraph/story/0,22049,24946982-5012895,00.html.

Random Gal

I have no words.

As I was walking past my younger brothers bedroom tonight he pulled me in and showed me the most ridiculous/random/unbelievable thing I have ever seen. Knowing my love of craigslist and randomness he had to show me what he had found. I will warn you this may disturb some of you so you may not want to read on... you have been warned.


Random Crap #4


Elder Prophet For Skinny Young Polygamous Sons (City of Angels)

Elder, wiser, Latino prophet and silver haired, HIV negative father figure seeks multiple LDS sons to form loving polygamous family on the west coast. You may apply individually, or along with your blood brothers, friends and cousins. Please send your photo(s) including your FACE and BODY, not your dick, or ass. Please be 18-35, with a slim, firm build, with a righteous soul and a strong heart committed to a long term multiple partner relationship. A cute face couldn’t hurt, blue or green eyes and freckles are a plus. A hairy chest, fuzzy buns or hairy stomach are good. You must put petty jealousies aside to work for the greater spiritual good of our gay and bisexual polygamous family. Sons will take turns sleeping with their beloved prophet and loving but stern oracle. Sons must pledge eternal obedience, and total commitment to their prophet. Tobacco, caffeine, and illicit narcotics are strictly prohibited in this saintly household. Gentiles need not apply.

Location: City of Angels


Okay so this was posted on craigslist in St. George on January 12th and it is the weirdest thing I have ever seen. I really have no words to describe how I felt when I read this posting. I can't decide whether or not it is a joke. Anyways, if you read that and want to apply than email pers-990716099@craigslist.org. I would hope that you would choose not to but I am not here to judge so do what you feel is right.


I feel disgusting, I am going to take a shower... sick.


Random Gal

Body Odor Prevention

I am sitting here in the DSC computer lab not doing my homework in part because I don't want to but also because there is a horrifying scent coming from the person next to me. Normally I would just move to a different computer but since there are no more available, here I sit, surrounded by the stench. This is not however my most horrific recent encounter with body odor. Several weeks ago while playing basketball I was assigned to guard a young man who's stench was enveloping the entire room. Needless to say I left him wide open for pretty much the entire game. It wasn't just his stench that kept me at bay but also his constant need to push me away with his butt. I could only take so much and excused myself from the game. Now while I understand that some people can not do anything about their unfortunate body odor, others show visible signs that they could use some help in the hygiene department. For these people I will post some advice.


Random Crap #3


1) After washing with soap and completely drying, immediately apply an underarm antiperspirant.
2) Keep your underarms dry.
3) Try a solution of hydrogen peroxide and water to fight body odor. Use one teaspoon of peroxide (3%) to one cup (8 ounces) of water. Wipe this on affected areas (underarm, feet, groin) with a washcloth. This may help destroy some of the bacteria that creates odor.
4) Wash your clothes often.
5)Change your diet. Sometimes, fatty foods, oils, or strong-smelling foods like garlic, curry, and onions, can seep through your pores and cause body odor
6) Shaving your underarm regularly will help prevent the accumulation of bacteria and can reduce sweat and odor.

Now for those of you who do everything mentioned above and still have issues here are a few products that may help you out.

1) DeodoRite™
Support the body’s natural cleansing and detox methods, healthy sweat glands and normal perspiration
http://www.nativeremedies.com/deodorite-herbal-perspiration-remedies

2) “Stop Sweating and Start Living: A Practical Guide to EndingYour Underarm Sweat Problem” eBook!
http://www.preventsweating.com/?hop=solution59

One of these products may be able to help your situation.

For those of you who don't have a problem and still read this, I apologize. For those of you who read this and do have a problem use these helpful tips to improve your situation. Remember, body odor may be accepted in some cultures but it isn't in ours!


Random Gal

What are the chances of being able to be social when you are poor?... maybe better than you think.

So I have spent the last six months being a tad on the anti-social side. This means that instead of hanging out with friends I have been spending pretty much all of my time in my room or with my AMAZING nephews. Now I realise that may sound slightly pathetic to an outsider and maybe it is, but the invitations to go out just seemed to be a huge waste of time. Not that I accomplished anything by sitting by myself at home but in my head, it was some much needed down time. So I have recently decided to semi-reenter the social seen. I'm not sure why it all the sudden appealed to me (okay maybe I am) but now I am faced with a rather significant dilemma and that would be my lack of funds. While my friends enjoy some rather random inexpensive activities there always seems to be a common theme, food. Whether it be grabbing some food on the way to watch a totally random 80's flick, or grabbing some ice cream after a totally random 80's flick there is always some spending involved. While that may seem like no big deal to most okay all of my friends, the constant "nights out" are whittling away at my already low bank account. I have a few rather amazing friends who are willing to pay for me but that doesn't do well for me in the self-respect aspect of life and pretty much always creates moments of awkwardness so rather than spend many more nights trying to scrape together change for a side salad I have compiled a list of amazing, free/cheap, food free, and most of all random activities that are sure to make any night with friends a little more exciting and a little more affordable.


Random Crap #2


1) Go for a walk.
-Our 8 o'clock walks were some of the best times of my life.
2) Pick a TV show you all like and watch it together.
-Maybe a little harder with mixed company but there is always some random rerun on
that anyone can appreciate.
3) Hang out at the book store.
-I had never really though about this before but a few weeks ago we spent several hours
at Barnes and Noble. One word... AMAZING!
4) Visit a free museum.
-So St. George isn't the best place for museums but on occasion the college with have an
amazing art show and there is always one night free.
5) Go for a hike.
-There are some amazing hiking trails in the St. George area and pretty much all of them
are free. Why don't we take advantage of these?
6) Pick a hobby you all like and do it together.
-Maybe back in the day my friends and I taught our guy friends how to crochet and we
would all spend hours together making amazing things for each other.
7) Go fly paper airplanes.
-Way more fun if you have a homeless man to run to the bottom of the steps and collect
the airplanes after you throw them and if you're lucky, he will bring you an apple.
8) Boardgames.
-Kind of lame but there are some pretty amazing board games out there.
9) Tour houses.
-Pick some amazing houses that are for sale and set up a tour. You may have a few angry
real estate agents on your hands but at least it's free.
10) Have a bonfire.
-Always an amazing time (unless everyone else there is married). Take advantage of
bonfire season while you still can. Having a friend with about a million pallets in their
backyard is a big help.
11) Create your own scavenger hunt.
-So random but make a list of the most ridiculous things and make a rule that you can't
get out of your car, it is truly amazing. Maybe one of the things on our list was a five
dollar bill so when we were done we treated ourselves to an ice cream cone.
12) Head out to the D.I.
-A regular activity in my circle of friends, it never fails in it's amazingness.
13) Carve something.
-You may need to but a watermelon or a pumpkin for this one, or you could go find some
amazing walking sticks in the woods and whittle them into something amazing.
14) Watch a movie.
-Super simple but amazing none the less. Just make sure that people are aware that by
"watch a movie" you mean "talk while a movie plays in the background". But maybe
that is just me.
15) Bust out toys from the good ol' days.
-Why not pull out your old Nintendo, Lego's, Pogs, or any other amazing toy from your
childhood. It may seem lame but a little nostalgia can do wonders for the soul.
16) Fly a kite.
-Windy days may be limited but take advantage of them when they arrive.
17) Go on a picnic.
-Invade your parents kitchen and make some picnic food. Then find an amazing park or
other shady area and have a picnic.


I have done at least of of the activities listed above and have thought about doing all of them. I'm sure there are a million more things to do but it is 1:30am and I still have to do my homework. What did we learn today? That even though you are poor you can still be social. You just need to take charge of your social circle and convert your friends to new ways of socializing.


Random Gal

Happy Birthday Cupcake

So maybe I have this friend, we'll call her Celina, and maybe she has been pestering me for what seems like my entire life to become a "blogger". One day several months ago she created this blog for me and while I have been trying for no apparent reason to avoid becoming a "blogger" today is the day that I stop avoiding it. I have been ignoring the not so subtle jabs at my lack of a blog and the little comments about how out of touch I am with the modern world, but today Celina is your birthday (okay technically yesterday but close enough) so here is your birthday gift. My very first post is dedicated to Celina for three reasons.

1) You created this blog for me.

2) This blog is named after you.

3) It is your birthday and this is what you asked for.

Random Crap #1

So I have a new love for craigslist.org. Not a day goes by that I don't find something absolutely random and amazing on there. The other day while perusing through the wanted ads I was becoming extremely bored of all the "fill dirt wanted" and "free maternity clothes needed" when, all of the sudden I saw a listing entitled "Wanted: New Best Friend". I opened it immediately and instantly wanted to become this young mans best friend. Later that evening I was sharing the post with my younger brother and his friends only to discover that the boy who posted the listing was one of their friends. Since then I have tried to look it up again but it had been erased. Apparently he wasn't to thrilled with his inability to hide his identity in his post. Then, on Friday while making my usual craigslist rounds I found this "WANTED: NEW BEST FRIEND (AGAIN!)" I immediately opened it and with great happiness found this...

"Due to a somewhat embarrassing realization regarding the utter lack of anonymity here, I recently removed a posting titled "Wanted: New Best Friend." However, a particularly frustrating day and subsequent sleepless night has caused me to reinstate my application with some additional qualifications for your consideration: I am a nineteen-year-old male whose best friend recently moved to Salt Lake City to live with his new best friend. Unfortunately, and despite my best efforts, I was unable to compete with a slightly more qualified friend, and I now find myself once again on the best friend market. I have many of the qualifications one looks for in a best friend. I am extremely loyal, for example; I will make your golden retriever seem like a rabid badger by comparison. I will continue to fulfill all my duties as a best friend, even when you tire of me or decide that beating each and every new video game you buy is more important than spending time with me (to this my previous client can attest). I can be very useful to have around at times. I am nearly 6'2", which means I am fully capable of reaching objects kept very high off the ground, such as on a tall shelf. Also, thanks to genetics and a five-years-and-counting bout with acne, my looks are below average. This is the perfect category for a best friend, of course: not attractive or hideous enough to be a distraction when seen with you, but just unattractive enough to make you look good by comparison. Trust me when I say that my unimpressive appearance will come in handy when you find yourself searching for potential sexual partners, as will my awkward demeanor and crippling fear of rejection. If asked about my greatest flaw as a best friend, I would have to admit that I am a bit overly nostalgic. When, as best friends do, you find yourself too busy or annoyed to put up with me anymore, I will more than likely spend hours moping around my house playing along to the bass parts of every song on my Joy Division box set until you call me back. However, no matter how many times you "forget" to call me, I will keep a professional composure and not confront you about it, because that's the sort of (potential) best friend that I am. Are you sick of your best friend stealing your spotlight? Well, thanks to an impressive history of being avoided and ignored, I've developed severe social and emotional issues that you can GUARANTEE will prevent me from ever being the life of the party! Want someone to feed your musical ego? Feel free to make fun of that brief Avril Lavigne phase I went through several years ago. Meanwhile, I'll keep it to myself that, despite an outwardly indie-litist attitude, you know relatively little about music and only buy shit-loads of expensive equipment to compensate for the fact that you never took the time to learn how to play an instrument. In return for my services as a best friend, I ask for no pay or special favors beyond an occasional request for my company or, at the very least, a polite tolerance of my presence. However, if you eventually find a best friend who better suits your particular needs and you move to a different city to room with him, please remember to tell me "Good-bye." P.S. I'm also trying to get rid of two large male rats (free to good home). Cage is not included."

While it is slightly different than the original post and may be the longest post ever, I admire this young man for going after what he wants. Good for you! I hope you find an amazing new best friend. If anyone would like to be this young mans new best friend then email him at sale-1004119926@craigslist.org I am sure that he would love to hear from you.

So Celina, there you have it. My first blog post. I hope that it fulfilled all of your hopes and dreams. Oh and maybe I am blogging and my computer still isn't working so all of your chats with my computer FAILED!

Random Gal