Today as I was driving to school I drove past the local Taco Bell and the marque read "cool off with a frutista freeze". I was instantly depressed. It is only February and people are already searching for ways to beat the heat. How do I live somewhere where that is the reality? We have had a few slightly warmer days this week and it has brought with it great excitement to many... I am not one of the many. While I may enjoy the spring time in St. George, it doesn't last long so the fact that it is already here means that the blistering hot summer is looming on the horizon. When I bring this to peoples attention they usually respond with "the summers aren't that bad" or "we can just spend the summer swimming" or "at least it won't be freezing anymore". I feel as though all of those people who are ushering in summer with open arms have no room to complain when it finally arrives. For this reason I have created a list of all of those so called "hot weather lovers" so they will always be reminded of how badly they wanted melted credit cards, sunburned backs, and stinky sweaty people (if you are among the stinky see Body Odor Prevention).
Hot Weather Lovers
Jenette
John
Joel
Celina
Jake
Nick
Gump
Blake
Sharice
Laura
Paupie
Jay
Sarah
I'm sure that I will be constantly adding to this list. I will update you when the complaining starts (and I know it will).
Next for all of you people who like me, dread the heat of summer I would like to suggest some slightly unconventional slightly ridiculous ways for you to stay cool all summer long. Some are slightly expensive but most are FREE!
Random Crap #8
How To Keep COOL
- Water Balloon Siege Machine - ATTACK!
- Think Cool - Read books about snowy winter days.
- Make Your Own Air Conditioner - Place large blocks of ice in a bowl and place a fan behind it.
- Eat Spicy Foods - Sweat the heat right out of you!
- Stay Downstairs - (or upstairs if that is where your ac unit is)
- Take Off Extra Clothing - This means hats and shoes when you are inside.
- Be Free - Just forget the clothing all together. I would suggest you only do this inside but you do what makes you feel comfortable.
- Go Topless - If you live in NYC (lucky) ladies, leave you shirts at home. It's LEGAL!
- Create Your Own Iceberg - Fill a pool with blocks of ice and float around with them.
- Buy This Pillow - Self-cooling pillow.
- Buy This Vest - Wear it under your clothes (or without any if you choose #7)
- Buy This Shirt - Seriously, I need to own this.
- Freezers Are Great - Freeze your pillowcase.
I'm sure that there are millions more but for now that is all I can think of. Any other suggestions would be appreciated! Stay Cool
Random Gal